Tuesday, January 6, 2009 AD
Frankly, My Parable, I Don't Give a Turk
I think centuri0n's parable purism is off-base, but that won't stop me entering his little contest with this little tale:A certain sheep went down from Jerusalem to Jericho. Well, she started out in that direction at any rate, but very foolishly wandered off the road and fell into a deep, miry pit.
Now by chance a certain priest came down that road.
"Please help me!" she bleated. "I've very foolishly wandered off the road and fallen into this pit!"
"Aw...don't be so hard on yourself," he replied. "Who's to say that being in a pit is wrong? And wandering off isn't necessarily bad, it's just an alternative path. So don't let anybody judge you!" And he passed by on the other side.
Likewise a Levite arrived at the place.
"Please help me!" she bleated. "I've very foolishly wandered off the road and fallen into this pit!"
"You know what your problem is?" he asked. "You've very foolishly wandered off the road and fallen into this pit. What you need to do is stick to the road, like I do. I'll be praying for you to get your act together and cease your stupid straying!" And he passed by on the other side.
And a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where she was.
"Please help me!" she bleated. "I've very foolishly wandered off the road and fallen into this pit!"
And when he heard her, he had compassion. So he went to her and hauled her out, and cleaned the mud out of her wool, and carried her back to the road.
"I think I'd better go the rest of the way with you, Miss," he advised. "I'd hate for you to meet with robbers along this road while traveling unprotected."
"Robbers?" she replied with a laugh. "Oh, there are worse people than robbers to meet out here!"
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 4:59 PM
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Monday, December 22, 2008 AD
Looking for General Prayers of Thanksgiving
Since my daily Bible reading resolution this year has met with significant success, I plan to add a daily prayer resolution in '09. I'm putting together something that I think will work for me, based on the acronym ARTIST. It's my expansion of the ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication) acronym. ARTIST stands for Adoration, Repentance, Thanksgiving, Intercession (for others' needs), Supplication (for my needs), and Trust (committing it all in faith to God). I'm collecting ready-made prayers for the project -- seven prayers in each category. I've pretty much harvested what I can from the Book of Common Prayer, and have also selected some Scripture passages and found a few things from other sources. But I still have a few gaps. Most particularly, I'm short on general prayers of thanksgiving. If anyone can think of any, and point me to the source or send me the prayer, it'd be much appreciated.
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 8:07 PM
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Tuesday, December 16, 2008 AD
Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep, Right on Down the Line
It is one of the greatest gifts of my life to be in a church that allows me to read this and have nary a qualm about how our three measure up.
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 7:10 PM
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Roommate Conversations
She: May I use your newly cleaned tablecloth to pack up my fudge?
Me: Yes, but there will be a fudge tax.
She: What? Oh! Yeah...I think I'll be paying myself that tax, too.
Me: I think that's a tax even Ron Paul would approve of!
Political compatibility is a highly desirable roommate trait.
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 11:00 AM
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Monday, December 15, 2008 AD
A New Sniglet
Deskavation n., the act of decluttering horizontal office surfaces
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 10:08 PM
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Sunday, December 14, 2008 AD
The Imprecatory Waltz
I've written a new metrical verse for Psalm 108:Here I am dancing with Edom, I'm waltzing...
Watch me twirl now with Philistia.
Oh, isn't it so swell
How I can curse rebel nations like Moab?
In three-quarter time I damn them,
Waltz them straight into hell! Seriously, "Haydn" is a lovely tune, and I'm sure the editors of The Book of Psalms for Singing were much holier than I will ever be, but what were they thinking pairing a waltz tune with an Psalm of judgment?
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 5:39 PM
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Friday, December 12, 2008 AD
A Blast From the Past
Here's an ancient post that came to mind today. I think it's one of the better thoughts I've had, and since sensible thoughts are so rare for me, I have to recycle them. ;-)We Need People Physically Present in Our Lives.
The Church is not the spirit of Christ; the Church is the body of Christ. The Church is a physical manifestation of Christ. Therefore the members of the Church need to be physically present to one another. Trying to live by faith that Some Intangible Entity out there (the Church) loves me isn't enough. It isn't right. It isn't what the Church is called to be. The physical presence of the Church is supposed to be the tangible reminder that Some Intangible Person out there (God) loves me.
There's a story of a little boy who's afraid of a thunderstorm in the middle of the night. He cries for his daddy, who comes to him and says, "Don't worry, son. Jesus is here with you." The boy answers, "Yes, I know, Daddy, but I need somebody with skin on." The boy is absolutely right! He expressed a perfectly legitimate need. We need somebody with skin on. Paul did not exhort the Romans and the Corinthians and the Thessalonians to greet one another with a holy phone call or a holy e-mail, but with a holy kiss -- a physical act. Whether or not we're supposed to obey that literally or in some more culturally acceptable way, one thing is clear about a kiss -- it involves getting in each other's face.
The church should be a community. We should meet together daily. No, not necessarily in formal assembly, but no member of the body should have to go a day without contact with other members of the body. We are to encourage one another daily (Hebrews 3:13). We have forgotten that we have daily needs. We’re supposed to pray, "Give us this day our daily bread" (another physical need), but we don’t need more than a weekly trip to the supermarket. We think we can get away with that in regard to our fellowship needs, too. The Israelites in the desert were to gather only enough manna for each day (Exodus 16:19). They were to be daily reminded of their need and their dependence. We have forgotten our daily need for community.
(Originally posted October 18, 2002.) Last night I not only got to hang out with a family from church, but actually have a long conversation with a friend and get hugs from her and her youngest two girls. A feast for the soul! It's been a blessing for me to see a light on in my house most nights when I've come home from work the past few months. My housemate and I don't have a lot of gut-spilling tête-à-têtes, but just the day-to-day exchange of commonplaces and the mere sight of a sister in Christ nourishes my spirit. Over the past couple months I've shifted my work schedule in part so we actually have a shot at spending some of our waking hours under the same roof. And who knows...perhaps someday I'll even get my act together enough to go seek other employment someplace where I can work alongside other believers 40 hours a week!
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 12:03 PM
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Monday, December 8, 2008 AD
Is RefTagger Working?
RefTagger -- super-simple automatic Scripture tool tip popup code.
Genesis 1:1
Revelation 22:21
It is! Cool beans. (But only if you're reading this on my site...not FB.)
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 10:33 AM
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Sunday, December 7, 2008 AD
For Everything Else, There's Mastercard
One Matchbox car: one buck
One racecar-shaped tin of chocolates: a few bucks
"This is the best present ever!": priceless
Granted, the boy was whining at me a couple hours later because we weren't going to James's house after church (we weren't invited, but somehow it was still my fault), but at least the first attempt at Sabbath treats went over well. He was actually excited about his booster seat, too. I was kinda expecting an argument there, so was pleased there was no problem. (Thanks, Sheila!)
I got more 6-year-old boy practice while on vacation. My mom takes care of a young first cousin twice removed (great-great nephew to her) who stretches my patience to the utmost. I think the reason the Lord is putting so many of the creatures in my path is to show my just how much I am like one -- whining, undisciplined, ungrateful, disobedient.... Um, thanks, Lord. And point taken.
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 5:08 PM
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GeePeeEsses
Seeing as how I am perpetually lost (geographically, that is, not spiritually) I'm thinking about indulging in a GPS for Christmas. Anybody know anything about them? What should I look for and avoid? Are the cheapest ones any good? What should I expect to spend to get a good one?
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 5:04 PM
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Saturday, December 6, 2008 AD
Wanna Hear Something Funny?
On square #16, I made a mistake. And I kept right on making it in each subsequent square. Fortunately, it's in the last round of the pattern (the pattern goes from the center outward in rounds rather than in rows), so I can go back and change the 15 correct squares rather than the 117 incorrect ones. And no one will be the wiser. Well...except all of you reading this! ;-)
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 9:50 AM
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Wednesday, December 3, 2008 AD
Seasonal Devotional Guide
A few days late, but here's an Advent/Christmas/Epiphany devotional guide penned by the pastors of the CREC. For best results, set Page Scaling to None in the Adobe Acrobat print dialogue box, and print on both sides of the page.
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 10:19 AM
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Sunday, November 23, 2008 AD
SINGLE DIGITS, BABY!!!
See that countdown graphic at the top? (Click it if you don't know what it's about. Visit my blog and click it if you're reading this elsewhere.) There are just nine -- count 'em nine -- squares left unchecked. And I've got a 9-day vacation comin' up with nothin' to do but crochet and watch movies. And eat turkey, of course. And hang out with my mommy.
Speaking of whom, turns out my aunt is turning 80 a few weeks before Mom does, and my cousins have just decided to do a joint party for them, which is just spiffy with me and my brothers, who would have had a challenging time planning something long-distance. We'll keep it a surprise as long as we can -- it'll take a miracle to really pull one over on those two. I just keep thinking, though, that for as long as I've been imagining this surprise party in my head, having Miss Gloria there was always a part of the picture. And now she can't be. And I can't help but thinking that it can't be too long before Mom does get to see her again. And that makes it worse.
OK...how did a happy post get so maudlin, huh? Time to knock it off and hit the hay!
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 12:40 AM
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Thursday, November 20, 2008 AD
Prayers for the Persecuted Church
During the Episcopal Diocese of Pittsburgh's 140th Convention November 4-5, 2005, the Rev. Dr. Grant LeMarquand suggested the following prayers for the persecuted church:
Almighty and everlasting God, hear the cries of your people as we call to you for your suffering church throughout the world. As you heard the cries of your ancient people in bondage in Egypt and came down to deliver them, so now hearken to the suffering of the persecuted church in our time. Give bread to those who are hungry, comfort to the imprisoned, strength to the tortured and all for the sake of Jesus who lived and died for us, who now lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever.
Heavenly Father, look with compassion on all who will suffer loss or persecution or martyrdom for your name this day. Give them courage to face the oppression that is before them and sustain them by your Holy Spirit, that having overcome by the blood of the Lamb they may receive the crown of life. We pray this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, who with you and the Holy Spirit ever reigns, one God, now and forever.
(Source, HT)
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 3:06 PM
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Tuesday, November 18, 2008 AD
On the Entertainment of 6-Year-Old Boys
So there's a new man in my life: a rather short, but devastatingly handsome one who's been riding to and from church with me on Sundays. (His mom, too.) First of all, am I going to get in deep doo-doo for not having a booster seat for him, and if so, where might I find such a beast, preferably of the cheap or free persuasion? Second of all, what can I do to bless him on that rather longish, boringish ride before he has to sit through a nearly 2-hour service? So far the best thing about Sundays for him has been trampoline access when we get invited to lunch with one family or another. I'd like to add at least one more blessing of the variety that's more readily comprehended by chronologically disadvantaged persons who haven't yet quite developed a profound appreciation for covenant renewal worship. ;-) I confess that while I am certainly a fan of 6-year-old boys, I am by no means and expert on them, so I call upon you, dear readers, for counsel on what treats, trinkets or diversions might be of use in expressing love to a young male of the species. I promise I will pay more heed than I did with the pumpkin pie issue!
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 8:51 PM
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Help! What Can I Do with Extra Pumpkin Pie Filling?
I must have bought the wrong size pie crusts, because I have about three cups or so more filling than will fit in the crusts. Could I just bake the extra in custard dishes?
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 6:43 PM
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Thinking Biblically About Facebook
I recommend this outline for your thoughtful consumption. Here's a condensed bit:9 Potentially Negative Uses/Dangers of Facebook- The trend of using status updates to complain
- Measuring your worth/identity by number of Facebook friends/Facebook interactions
- Greater concern over forming Facebook (virtual) friends rather than real friends
- Diminishment of face-to-face time with people/enjoying and working on real relationships
- Dual identities
- Hurting and excluding others (intentionally or unintentionally)
- Facebook and online life can make you more distracted, changes how you think/attention span
- Can tempt you away from your calling/work
- Thinking about yourself more than you already do
6 Facebook Opportunities: 6 Ways to Love God and Love Others Through Facebook (Leveraging)- Can get back in touch with old, far-away friends in an easy way, showing them how you've been changed by Jesus
- Can use Facebook as an extension of face-to-face relationships/can be used to enhance time with people
- Can use Facebook to think about yourself less and others more
- Can use Facebook to sharpen/discipline what you do with your time
- Can use Facebook to quickly announce/make great things happen: events, face-to-face time
- Can use Facebook to influence other people for Jesus. Create a new culture with your status updates: use to influence, love, encourage, teach, and challenge people towards greater love for God and other people.
Read the full article for fuller context, examples and explanations...and think of your own!
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 10:34 AM
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Dumb Question
I just replaced the glass in a picture frame, and I don't know what to do with the broken glass. How can I safely dispose of it?
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 12:09 AM
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Monday, November 17, 2008 AD
Love Bestows Loveliness
Today I attended the funeral of a beautiful woman I never met. Her body was wrecked by 31 years of multiple sclerosis, but every word spoken and every picture displayed told me she was beautiful. The phrase "love bestows loveliness," borrowed hence, was very much in my mind. Janet was loved -- by her parents (my pastor, Glen Knecht, and his wife, Betty Jane), her siblings, her husband and her son. And their love was the conduit for her heavenly Father's love, which gave her a radiant joy that transformed and transcended her physical brokenness. Even though I never knew her, I'm blessed to have been touched by her life!
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 10:18 PM
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Saturday, November 15, 2008 AD
Productive Insomnia
After going to sleep at 10 last night, I woke at about 1:30. When lying in bed weeping for an hour didn't prove to be much fun, I decided to get up and try to wear myself out with a little productivity. I did dishes; browned, bagged and froze three pounds of ground beef; attempted to replace the glass in a picture frame (need to ask the framers whether "This side faces" means out or in); shredded, bagged and froze 14 cups of chicken I cooked last night; sent an e-mail; crossed all this stuff off my to-do list; added twice as many new items; finally remembered to plug in my cell phone to charge; and of course wasted some time playing online. Now I think I'll go attempt to catch some more Zs, as three and a half hours just isn't going to get me through the rest of my day!
Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 6:26 AM
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