Tuesday, May 10, 2005 AD How's a Girl Supposed to Sleep in These Conditions? I went upstairs to go to bed, and when I turned on the light, whom should I surprise but The Millipede That Ate Montana crawling on the ceiling right over my pillows? So I grab the handiest chemical weapon (how long before I give up and start squashing them on the new paint?), wait 'til he moves somewhere other than over my bed, and give him a good squirt. He falls to the floor, and I spray him again before he scurries away. Is this brand slow-acting, I wonder, or does it just not do anything at all? Is he dead, or is he just waiting 'til I turn out the light so he can attack me in my sleep? I tell myself that he must be in his death throes, and that it's safe to go to bed. But wait! There's another nefarious creature, this time a silverfish, crawling on the wall over my bed. I spritz him, too, and he crawls around a bit more before coming to a stop. Dead? I ain't gettin' close enough to check! Anyway, now I've got the heebie-jeebies and am afraid to go sleep in my bed. Do these long-leggity-beasties crawl on me in my sleep? Do they have thousands of brothers and sisters and uncles and aunts and parents and children and cousins living in the cracks and crevices of my bedroom? Would it really be so bad to live someplace like Antarctica where it's perhaps too cold for the creepy-crawlies to live? What if I just left all the lights on in my house all the time...would that make them want to move out? Sigh...I guess I'd better go see if the coast is clear. If I don't see you again, search my house for an insect with a very large lump in his belly -- I have probably been swallowed whole.... Posted by Valerie (Kyriosity) at 5/10/2005 03:22:00 AM
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